How to stop stuttering. Mistake #2 - pretending to be fluent.

Let’s face it, stuttering is not the best part of us. It’s painful and there’s nothing wrong with our desire to get rid of it and become fluent.

And we see other people around speaking fluently, with ease, we see these other people reaching their goals and dreams. The idea that comes logically is that we need to be normal to get there. So we want to be normal to be successful.

But wait a second. The truth is just the opposite. 

The VIDEO: How to Stop Stuttering. Mistake #2 - pretending to be fluent.

How to stop stuttering. Mistake #2 - pretending to be fluent. 

I watched recently a TED talk with Caroline McHugh called "The art of being yourself." And I love her saying that all successful and remarkable people have one thing in common, and that is - they have nothing in common.

Our strength, our mission, and success, our true self, our destiny, the legacy that we leave behind - it’s all in our unique weirdness. But the problem is that our stuttering is a part of that weirdness, probably not the best part, but it is what it is. And when we start hiding our stuttering pretending being normal we hide our personality as well. We bury the good and the bad alike.

We want to hide the impediment by any means. And the moment we start hiding it we invite fear to be with us all the time because we're afraid that our impediment can be discovered.

We give into fear, we let it grow into a huge monster. It becomes the trigger and the main source for sitting in the shell, which is our massive mistake #1.

The more we try to hide it the stronger our stuttering gets. Our stuttering and our suffering from it keeps growing as we keep going in this cycle. So I’m asking you now, what’s the rescue file we need to launch to unlock this magic circle?

It becomes clear that the rescue file is this: embracing your unique personality.

It's not that we love stuttering so much, but in order to embrace our unique personality and discover all the treasures we have inside we need to embrace and accept our stuttering as part of it.  

And you might say, "Andrey, but this video series is not about embracing stuttering. It's about fluency and how to get there, isn't it?"

Sure, you're right. So what happens when we step on the road to fluency: we're given some techniques to use, you start using them and people begin to notice that you’re new, you’re speaking differently. And I don’t necessarily mean it in a positive way.

You speak without stuttering, you’re building your new speech and you’re optimistic about it, but it’s gonna be slower at first stage, it’s gonna be strange.

It’s like trying to become an entrepreneur. Your friends are asking you, "Do you really think that's a good idea? Are you totally sure? It’s so risky!" Your spouse is telling you, "You’d better go back and get a job." There’s gonna be a lot of pressure around and it’s gonna be hard.

Because... you’re challenging the norm.

You and your new speech are weird now compared to that usual "you" that they know. And people start asking, "Hey, what's up with you?" And here comes a big question - how to respond to that?

At this point, at this critical point, we need that rescue file so much. We want to rely on it with all our heart. Because our logic would tend to give up and find plausible arguments and reasons why we’d better stay safe and keep pretending to be normal.

Again, it's counterintuitive, but pretending to be normal leaves us suffering from stuttering.  Yet readiness and willingness to be weird opens up and leads the way to fluency.

If you are a person who stutters, 

and you're not quite satisfied with how you feel at the moment of speaking interaction 

I invite you to my free training where I share my view on getting free from stuttering 

And for more interaction,

join the Free From Stutter Facebook group.

Please, don't stay isolated! It's crucial to feel you’re part of the community!

If you have thoughts or observations, anything that comes to your mind - let me know in the comments! 

Thank you so much! See you soon! 

Read and Watch Next:

How to stop stuttering. Mistake #3 - trying to control your speech.

How to stop stuttering. Mistake #1 - sitting in the shell.

Top 10 speech exercises for stuttering